by Create Business Academy Creatrix, Lauren Wallett | Feminist Business Consultant for Business Owners, Consultants, Entrepreneurs, Service Providers, and Coaches.

From business BDSM to business reimagined.

Lauren Wallett, here! Business Coach for Consultants, Entrepreneurs, and more. I help business owners build businesses without the hustle. I’ve scaled and sold businesses since 2003, but when Covid-19 hit, my business dipped into the driest spell I’ve ever had. Clients canceled and my business, as usual, stopped short. I panicked and started listening to every old rich businessman I could find. Podcasts, books, online events, endless conversations with mentors. Each piece of advice was worse than the next. Quick fixes. Silver Bullets. Step-by-Step fool-proof solutions, and blueprints. And the absolute worst is “Just spend more money!” On the flip side was praying before sales calls and magical morning mediations. I even did one “divine feminine empowerment” zoom session that turned out to be group masturbation. Not my vibe! Nothing felt right, and I didn’t want any of it. Trapped in knots of fear around discipline and dominance, I struggled. I’ve had to undo almost everything they had taught me to free myself from business bondage.

What’s an entrepreneur’s most valuable resource?

The problem was that even after two decades as a successful entrepreneur, part of me still imagined business as this difficult, out-of-reach entity. Why did I ever think business would be hard to do, instead of a natural extension of my self-expression? It’s because we live in a patriarchal society that’s fixated on power instead of focused on play. It’s why so many women in business speak about “empowering women” as if power is something that can be given. Creativity is the most powerful untapped resource you have, and it can’t be taken from you because it’s innate. 

What is anti-hustle culture business?

If patriarchal dictators like Gary Vee (Vaynerchuk), are not your vibe, then you’re ready for Business Reimagined. That’s business without 5:00 am wake-up calls, cold showers, and the hustle and grind of “crushing” anything. Because success isn’t about hacking life to do it right. True success is about living a life that feels like a holiday.

When capitalist patriarchy says work because you have to, the new paradigm says play because you’re allowed to. Play is your purpose. It’s the result and the process itself. It’s not a fixed destination but an endless cycle. It’s enhancing. It’s regenerative. It’s the whole point. Play is enjoying who you are and what you’re doing with others. It’s freedom through absolute presence.

It’s not about “If you do what you love, you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” It’s that “When you share all you love, you get to play”. Getting to play is the dream. You’re getting it. All that you could ever imagine wanting. It’s like making love or laughing. It’s happening. It’s life as a lucid dream.

What does it take to reimagine business?

Welcome to the pleasure zone, where your business pleasures instead of punishing you. In fact, pleasure is essential to your business’ success. Business Reimagined means you get to have more fun than you ever thought you could. You’re going to make your business work for you, instead of you for it. It’s business reimagined from a punishing patriarchal dictator into your hot, sweet, Sugar Daddy. You can make your business your Sugar Daddy or anything else you want it to be. You get to make it all up. In fact, the reason you don’t have a business and lifestyle beyond your wildest dreams (yet) is that you haven’t imagined it as a possibility.

Build Your Business without the Hustle: From business BDSM to business reimagined by Create Business Academy Creatrix, Lauren Wallett | Feminist Business Coach for Business Owners, Consultants, Entrepreneurs, Service Providers, & Coaches.

This post gives you a reality check-in to make sure you’re not caught up in business BDSM, which feeds into capitalist punishment. Ultimately, we’re replacing old rules with new ideas. Because when you reimagine business, you get to reimagine your life.

What does Business BDSM mean? [And how does it relate to “bro-marketing” speak]

Bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. They’re all the outdated business and marketing rules that are fear and shame-based.

Typical rhetoric in “bro-marketing.” It’s not limited to men. Many recovering perfectionists lean into business BDSM in fear of “doing it right.” You’ve seen it a thousand times: “Crush Social Media!” “Slay your Day!” “Dominate your Competitors!” 

Although it’s a kink term, it makes for fat-free vanilla business strategies. The whole “Us vs Them” ideology is boring and overdone. Viewing everything as a threat is terrifying and won’t entice anyone brave. When you’re appealing to someone’s creativity, you’re calling on their brave hearts. You’re not convincing cowards. As long as you’re bound up in knots of fear, you won’t get anything done. A client who isn’t a shining example of the results you promise isn’t a quality client. Someone who doesn’t get the benefits from your service isn’t a customer you want.

If you have to trick someone to work with you, it’s unlikely they’ll trick others to work with you, too. But someone who buys from you will probably choose to tell others. They made an empowered choice and will shine as an example for others to follow. 

It’s time for a reality check. Have you been caught up in an insidious game of business BDSM? If so, you need to get out of bondage before we go any further. Because if your hands are metaphorically tied, then you’ll be blind to the truth… let alone able to speak your own truth. 

Do you buy into these 8 business limiting beliefs?

You’re not interesting enough for people to listen to you
You’ve missed out/it’s too late
That there’s a right way and a wrong way to do things
You don’t have the right skills to make your business successful
That you have to/must/should do certain things to achieve success
You’ll never be as successful as someone else
You need to conform to a certain ideal to get rich
Business is hard!
Then you’re in bondage baby! Here’s how you get out. 

How to break free from business hustle culture

Anything that feels like:

  • Limitation (not enough / running out)
  • Scarcity (limited price / quantity available)
  • Fear tactics (religious punishment / sexual gratification)
  • Flagellation (bleeding neck problem / poking the pain points)
  • Torture (missing out / not good enough)
  • Punishment (terrible consequences if you don’t do this now / apocalyptic)

is a sure sign that it’s outdated and not for you. 

Bondage feels like: “You’re not good enough.” It says, “You don’t want it bad enough.” Here’s the thing about actual support. Support doesn’t feel scary. Support feels supportive. If it’s not supportive, it’s probably shame-based. And shame is at the heart of capitalist patriarchy. That’s how you can tell. 

So, when you see the same old patriarchal sh*it online – scroll in another direction. 

If you get force-fed advice that feels like dominance or pain, refer to this checklist. If it doesn’t feel expansive, it’s not. Your business is about growth and expansion. Crushing is exhausting. Creating is exhilarating.

Build Your Business without the Hustle: From business BDSM to business reimagined by Create Business Academy Creatrix, Lauren Wallett | Feminist Business Coach for Business Owners, Consultants, Entrepreneurs, Service Providers, & Coaches.

Business Reimagined is self-generating and pleasure-making.

It’s the new era of creative celebration with freedom of imaginative expression. You get to shape your business in your rhythm on your schedule. It’s all about creativity. It pours out from your heart and is regenerative.

Business Reimagined is about community over competition

Community means collaborating with colleagues and providing added support. You don’t need to compete when you build a community. A community supports one another, shares resources, and thrives as a collective. There IS enough to go around.

When you stop listening to the outdated rules of others, you clear the channel to Creative Source. We’re conscious creatures with free will. We tap into our collective consciousness when we access our creativity. Complex means it’s too big to do all alone. So don’t do it alone.

Most old business rules aren’t even conservative, they’re just outdated. That’s because they’re based on a paradigm that no longer exists. Bizarre excuses like: “It’s nothing personal, it’s just business” and “work-mode” is a behavior bypass system. These excuses meant “businessmen” could excuse immoral, unethical, and unkind behavior. Because “Business” said so. But we’re conscious creatures. Business is an extension of our conscious choices and intentional actions. Business is our ultimate expression, not a mask for bad behavior.

A compassionate business takes people into account. It includes dissolving systematic racism, misogyny sexism, heterosexism, ableism, and pyramid monopolies built on oppression. 

The truth is, it’s NOT that complicated. “Its complicated” is an excuse and a trick. Do you know who’s complicated? Psychopaths. Caring people are compassionate. When you do business with compassion, you can’t go wrong. Business Reimagined is a win-win. It’s not one-upmanship because there’s no corporate ladder!

Constant “busyness” is a sign of work addiction which is a serious mental illness, not a badge of honor.

Much of what we considered normal work was compulsive and based on addiction. The insane counter to working hard was playing hard. But you can’t counter work addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, food, shopping, or any other addiction. It’s all just addiction that is bred from disconnection. Instead of compulsive work, Business Reimagined offers clarified play. It’s centered on connection. It also means you don’t need to control others. You don’t need to control your team, audience, or clients when you celebrate them. Staff and clients are attracted to a good vibe, not a negative one. It’s not rocket science.

Prices don’t need to be cryptic when they’re honest. Prices should be straightforward, not hidden. It’s not weird to talk about money – it’s just a tool of exchange. 

The old rules had all working to enhance one.
The new ideas have each one working to enhance all.

Lauren Wallett

Here’s a quick summary for you. Read the old rules vs the new ideas and feel into them… which one’s feel expansive and which makes you contract?

Old Business Rules

1 Crush it

2 Competition

3 Complex

4 Conservative

5 Complicated

6 Compulsive Work

7 Controlling Others

8 Cryptic Pricing

New Business Ideas

1 Create it

2 Community

3 Channeled

4 Conscious

5 Compassionate

6 Clarified Play

7 Celebrating Others

8 Comprehensive Pricing

Build Your Business without the Hustle: From business BDSM to business reimagined by Create Business Academy Creatrix, Lauren Wallett | Feminist Business Coach for Business Owners, Consultants, Entrepreneurs, Service Providers, & Coaches.

The business best question I’ve learned to ask in 18 years of being in business

The best thing I’ve learned from all the mentors I’ve had over the years is what not to do and how not to do it. The more I looked at the examples of masculine success, the more I realized how warped it was. Dominance, fear tactics, shaming, force, and submission are required for “opportunities.” In case you needed reminding, working for free is not an opportunity, it’s working for free. No man is your master. You are. So, the next time you hear an absurd business rule, take a good look at where it’s coming from. Really take in the person who said it.

  • Do they exude joy? 
  • Do they seem satisfied? 
  • Do they feel genuine?

Do you want what they have on the inside? 

If there’s a disconnect between what they say and what they do, mind the gap and don’t fall into their trap. 

P.S:  

If you don’t have your dream job yet, it’s probably because you don’t dream of labor. You dream of life.

Love, Lauren

Get yourself a copy of my business book, Love Play Magic: Business Reimagined HERE.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog.

And if you’d like to know the ways to work together, click here.

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